Friday

This part of the story isn't pretty, but it is real, and it is part of what it means to be the parent of a child adopted with medical needs.
I was so overwrought over this surgery (we had some problems during the last big surgery that frightened me pretty badly) that I didn't intend to take, or post, pictures during this one. But others in the room had other ideas, and in the end it feels good to have survived this as a family. Here she is goofing around with her hat on the way into the surgery room.
This is the worst part, as she is waking up from anesthesia, still in the recovery room.
It's a temporary relief to be allowed downstairs to a hospital room, where you can spread out and have some space, and when you know the recovery room is behind you.
 True to form, Q was ready to drink juice from a straw right away. This is unusual for this kind of surgery - many children have a great deal of difficulty figuring out how to swallow afterward, and some spend days in the hospital before they are even able to take liquid nourishment on their own.
But this is just the very beginning of a very long, scary and sleepless 24 hours.
Here she is resting in daddy's arms in the hospital room, still under the influence of the anesthesia. As day wears into night in the hospital, things get a lot worse. The night is very difficult, and filled with repeated and escalating screaming fits, night terrors and drug-induced hysteria on various levels. When she does sleep, it is very nearly as harrowing, because we are left staring at the oxygen monitors and her breathing becomes depressed and her oxygen goes steadily lower. Occasionally we have to wake her and force her to take a deep breath, which inevitably leads to another harrowing screaming fit.
 Eventually, however many years it seems to take, it is morning, and in the morning she was eating smoked salmon and pats of butter, drinking juice and milk, and feeling like a new person. We were released by 8 and on our way home. Here she is, thrilled to be back on her own couch, opening presents that came for her in the mail...
 ...this one all the way from France.
 Many thanks, Violette!
One thing that we have frequently forgotten ourselves during this process (being as we were so worried about the internal part of the surgery and its aftermath) is that she was also scheduled for a tip rhinoplasty. It was kind of an afterthought on the part of our surgeon, since it was not urgent, but she felt like it could be done along with the p-flap surgery in order to save us an extra trip to the OR. So it was that we were all a little surprised to recall that she was coming out of surgery with a "new nose". She herself finds this part kind of funny, except that she hates being called pretty, and all the nurses kept doing exactly that in the recovery room. It is, I must say, a lovely nose - even if it was not our main concern. We have a superb plastic surgeon, one of the best, and for this we feel extremely fortunate.

Today, Q is feeling thrilled to be sprung from the hospital and back in her own environs. According to the nurses, she will feel worse before she feels better (swelling near the spinal column will make her feel pretty rotten over the next couple of days). But she's home and so are we, and all of us feel so very relieved to have come through this surgery to see the light of day.

(Thanks to Susan and Mike for the in-hospital photos)

14 comments:

Di said...

I am glad that she is home safely - I hope that the next few days go in what would appear to be a typical Q fashion...full of spirit. You must be relieved it is one more trying experience for all, over.

Hope my little parcel arrives soon...

walternatives said...

I am in awe as I read this. At your candor. Your courage. Most of all, I am in awe of Q. What an extraordinary child in a myriad of ways. Wishing you all a speedy recovery, buoyed by the love that sustains and surrounds you three. xxxo

Fei An said...

This is heavy to see. However, Q has such an bright spirit! She is so great, so great... Lots of love to her. Best wishes to her and your family.

Anonymous said...

What a hard thing for all three of you. It was even hard looking at the pictures. Wishing you all the best and a fast recovery for Q.

Yanyan said...

Love and strength to you all...Thinking of you...

FDChief said...

Glad she's doing well...and sorry for your harrowing times all the same.

We all lose a little bit of ourselves when we give these little hostages to fortune.

I will always remember asking my mother (in my breezy 40-yerar-old-I'm-SO-not-a-kid-anymore way) "When DID you stop fretting about me and sis?" The look I got...

Thinking of you and hoping for a blithe late summer...

Yoli said...

Maia, my heart goes out to her and to both you and Mike. Brave little girl, brave family. So much love. Thank you for updating us and for sharing. It is very encouraging that she is eating, getting her strength.

Sending you our love and prayers.

alix said...

oh what a tough experience for you...I can't even imagine. q is a brave and beautiful little warrior—so strong for one so young! she is magnificent! and what a loving amazing family you have. how lucky Q has such wonderful and courageous parents—i know it must feel so scary. much love and happy wishes for a speedy recovery.

xo
alix

Heather said...

Thanks for sharing your life with us. As an adoptive mom of two children born in Ethiopia (both have special needs...) It means alot to me to get a glimpse of your life and your wonderful family!! Thinking of your little one as she recovers and thinking of you and your husband as you reach into the deepest corners of your being to pull out all the energy, patience etc it takes to be a parent! Looking forward to more photos as your little one grows up!

Natalie Thiele said...

What an ordeal! It's a relief to see how quickly your spirited daughter has regained her Qness.
I hope her recuperation is smooth and fast.

Cavatica said...

Glad to hear she's on the mend, as difficult as it's been and sounds like it will yet be.

Anne said...

Dear Maia,

It makes me so sad to see you and your little family going through all that. You were very courageous and so was Q. I wish you the best and I hope Q will have a speedy recovery. I send you my love and we hope to see you very soon. XO
Anne

liza said...

I hope the healing continues to go well. It's heartbreaking to see all of you go through the pain. Thinking of you. What a trooper your Q is!

lilou said...

i am just reading everthing now. I am so happy that she is getting better at the minute but understand exactly what you mean by "Why Oh God allowing such a thing to my child", And like the nurse i am admiring this very pretty nose (but don't tell Q!!). Bises