Outside the Buddhist temple, Guangzhou.

Dinner at the White Fence Farm.

That's a map on her head, not a bonnet. This is the ultimate illustration of Q's clear and tactical understanding of the power of her own charm. This kid isn't even two yet. I fear for those who will fall at her feet.

I have the best possible news to report: we got a call from the hospital today - Q's Hep C test came back negative.

Needless to say, the relief is bigger than any words. After a week of dark days, I can't tell you how it feels to be able to look at that happy little face and not feel like crying inside.

I would be jumping and crowing with joy were it not for the fact that there are others out there who have not had good news. No report yet as to how many tests have come back positive since the screening began here in Denver, but I know that if I were one of those people (or their loved ones) consigned to a lifetime with this disease thanks to the thoughtless actions of an addict, I would want those who were luckier to show respect. So while my joy for the sake of our daughter is bigger than the universe right now, I still feel the shock of those lives that have been affected by this nightmare.

I feel really at a loss for words to express how grateful I am for the health of our happy, joyful, vigorous, loving child. Instead I'm posting this picture from our adoption week in Guangzhou. Some will recognize this as the infamous "red couch" at the White Swan hotel, where adoptive parents have their first family photo taken with their new child. Of course, we were all a little shell-shocked at this point, not least of all (I can only imagine) little Q. As new parents, no matter how well-prepared and schooled, it isn't easy to wrap your mind around the fact of having a stranger's child placed in your arms, of becoming, in the matter of an instant, a parent to a child that you did not grow in your own womb.

Imagine, then, how much more difficult to be that child, handed to a pair of strangers who look, smell and dress unlike anyone you've ever seen before, snatched from everything that is familiar to you and those people who have cared for you, and carried halfway around the world, to a place where nothing tastes, sounds, smells or looks the same. I can think of it as feeling like some sort of alien abduction.

And yet....the child in this picture, with her then-unrepaired cleft lip and palate, had just been given a second chance. Where her birth parents had been unable or unwilling to keep her, she was given a second set of parents - two people who love her more deeply than life itself, who dote on her, who can't tear their eyes away from her, whose lives revolve around her. Where she was born with a physical condition that would have made life extremely difficult for her in her own country, she was given an opportunity at the best surgereons, the best therapists, the best education. Where she had spent the first 11 months of her life flat on her back in a crib, with limited nutrition and meager resources (though it must be said that she had it better than some, and she did at least have some loving caretakers to help make her into the trusting, joyful child that she is now), she now has the world at her feet - hiking, traveling, swimming, horseback riding, good food (all this, at least, provided the economy doesn't get much worse!) and most of all a family who loves her profusely.

Here in this picture is a child on the brink of a second chance at life. I am so glad that, in giving her that chance, we did not inadvertently expose her to a disease that might have affected her for a lifetime. I don't know how I would have lived with that weight of guilt, albeit unwitting.

My heart is with those who were not so lucky, and as one friend said recently, the world will always be a little darker now that we have come so close to something as nightmarish as this. It will be a challenge not to be fearful after what we've seen this past week. That said, the world will also always be a little brighter, thanks to the gift of this one child's healthy life.

I need to send out a great big "thank you" to all of you who sent such beautiful sentiments and notes. I apologize if I wasn't able to respond in kind, but I've been half blind with worry for the past week, and a lot has gotten away from me. Just know that all that support and positive sentiment from around the world really held us aloft during an incredibly difficult time, and I'm so grateful.

Taking a break....something really terrible has happened to our family, which will have to remain private for now. I am by nature a great optimist, and usually I am in love with life. But to be brutally honest, my faith in the human race has been shaken considerably this week, and I just don't have the will to blog at the moment. I am wishing you all well, and hope that things will turn out for the better, and that my faith in humanity will eventually mend. For now, I'm going to need to take a step back.

Peace - M.


Update:
My husband suggests that I clarify a bit so that people don't think the worst. No one is hurt
(per se), and we're all together and OK at the moment. What happened was the selfish act of a stranger, a drug addict, a young woman with no regard for human life, who endangered thousands of people at a local hospital this past year while stealing narcotics to fuel her addictions. It was the hospital where our daughter had her surgeries after coming home from China. The news just broke yesterday, and we will not know for a couple of weeks whether Q has been affected. Needless to say, we are devastated, horrified, angry and shaken. Whether or not our daughter has been affected by this, there will turn out to be innocent people who have been. I'm really too angry and disillusioned to speak rationally about what is wrong with the medical system that allows this kind of thing to happen (a great deal more often than it should in recent years, it seems). Maybe someday I can talk about it with a more objective mind. I have no doubt there will be more than one lawsuit in this case (the perpetrator is currently in custody) but there is simply no way to compensate for an innocent child being endangered like this just when she was starting out on her second chance at life. It's appalling. There is no justice to be had here, and no way to repay the victims. It's just a senseless nightmare. Needless to say no one is celebrating in this family today.

The Marimekko semi-annual sale is on! Do you love this fabric? I love this fabric.
I love Marimekko.
(Thanks all*over*print for the reminder!)

Vintage cars near the old Silver Plume mine.

A photography class and its model along the beautifully-colored colonial streets of Guangzhou.

The Georgetown/Silver Plume loop railway...once a part of a railroad network between mining towns in the Colorado Rockies. Now, a historical reminder, popular with families and school groups.
Colorado is still very much a train state, even now. Listening to the forlorn and thrilling moan and whistle of trains in the night is possibly my favorite thing about living in Denver, with its working trainyards. Working trains and "ski trains" are still active through the mountain corridors, and Denver is still to some extent an active hub for train travel, as is Grand Junction.
Colorado's current presence in the midst of its own history is one of the reasons I so deeply love this state.

Bisbee, Arizona.

"A Kiss From Tokyo" Theatrical trailer from Stephane coedel on Vimeo.

This is pretty sweet.
Go here for details.

and...
Order the book, "Seductive Espionage: The World of Yuki 7" from fleetstreetscandal.com

Photo: Bart Boehlert

HUGE blog crush of mine: Paul Pincus.

He's one of those people who find things. He finds all the best things. It's a talent. And he has it. Not everyone shares the same aesthetic, of course. But for me, as broad as his spectrum (and it runs the gamut from contemporary art to pop culture, from modern design to the great masters, from street style to high society), Paul Pincus hits the mark every time with the clarity of a silver spoon striking good crystal. He is pitch-perfect. 'Nuff said.

The above photo is via Paul Pincus from Bart Boehlert's Beautiful Things. I chose this "street style" photo at random because it's today's entry, and because I like it. There are so many good things on Paul Pincus' blog that I couldn't have picked a favorite...it's like browsing a really excellent library, or the best sort of curiosity shop. It bears many hours and multiple visits to really appreciate the spectrum. Trust me, your time will be well-spent.